tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356365463389515942.post5855818616082492597..comments2012-01-03T17:34:23.179-08:00Comments on The Blog of Kristen Dalton: Thoroughly Modern Woman with Traditional ValuesKristen Daltonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01321381526857086477noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356365463389515942.post-33374619506369722482011-11-29T01:27:09.238-08:002011-11-29T01:27:09.238-08:00Laura,
What an incredible and touching response. ...Laura,<br /><br />What an incredible and touching response. You actually have me in tears reading this because I can totally relate to the intense pressure of needing to succeed. Would you mind sharing with us how you managed to get through such a difficult struggle these last 4 years, primarily with finally becoming comfortable and peaceful with yourself again? I am intrigued how you went through such a struggle, mentally and emotionally especially amidst the pressure of comparing yourself to other Duke students, and then finally how you managed to break through and find peace and balance. <br /><br />You are a strong, special and inspiring young woman and I am sure many other women can relate to your story. Thank you so much for sharing and I hope to learn from you!<br /><br />- KristenKristen Daltonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01321381526857086477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356365463389515942.post-20863304015204442552011-11-28T17:31:05.891-08:002011-11-28T17:31:05.891-08:00(continued)
To give you a little background, a pl...(continued)<br /><br />To give you a little background, a plurality -and a hugely visible one at at that- of Duke students are nouveau riche, both real and feigned, both pompous and elitist. Not the kind of character I was raised to have. Living with these people has been hard on me, my values, and my goals. I've managed to find a few gems among them, and they're just the people I admire and respect and hold the same values as I. Until I came here, I've never felt at such a stark crossroads as this: either become a pretty little girl who stands in the background -or- be a ruthless masculine-like business woman. Having to chose only one or the other is absurd. This perceived gender role for woman is limited. It's ignorant and clearly does not account for the new and improved, force-to-be-reckoned-with Modern Woman. Professional prowess and femininity are in fact not mutually exclusive, as many are too quick to assume. As women, we all have different ideas about what this "modern woman" actually is and does. For me, the modern woman is the one who balances between old traditions and new demands. It's a hard balance to strike - and even harder with the "effortless perfection" myth. In my essay, I discuss how I go about striking that balance. Of course, with your worldly travels, you may disagree with some of what I have written, but I can only write to my own experience, and in 2 shorts pages.<br /><br />Duke is only a tiny microcosm of what there is in corporate America and so forth. I realize that and am very eager to get acquainted with the real world. These 4 years have pulled me into a millllionnnn different directions in deciding what I should be, what I should do, and how I'm going to do it. I can't tell you how many times I've cried myself to sleep unhappy with myself, my relationships, my networking, trajectory, ugh, everything really. I had lost track of my values and goals so much so that I became a victim of probably the most mentally abusing relationships of all time. <br /><br />It really wasn't that long ago that I realized that I had developed a seriously warped sense of success. I was comparing myself solely with other Duke kids, most of whom still staunchly hold that same idea of success. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what mine is. All I know is that I just want to be happy with myself and family and make a positive impact on other women and men. Like I said, I was quickly headed to be another number in that statistic of "unconfident Duke girls." The pre-college Laura would not have been okay with this. After several kicks to the ground, I got my old self back! I had grown complacent and blind even. There came a point at which I literally said out loud to myself that I will be damned if I ever again blindly fall victim to mainstream and such pigeon-holed social roles. As I make my mark on the world, I struggle to strike that balance between these old traditions and new demands on women. I have found that I am happier and genuinely content with how I live.<br /><br />Thank you dearly for being a role model for us all.<br /><br />~Laura PuleoClassics Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05101951573798122635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356365463389515942.post-34433900951787859482011-11-28T17:29:18.463-08:002011-11-28T17:29:18.463-08:00Dear Kristen,
First of all - sorry for the length...Dear Kristen,<br /><br />First of all - sorry for the length of this - this topic really gets me going, because it hits so close to home and is something I'm still trying to figure out for myself.<br /><br />I just read this last blog and thoroughly enjoyed it. It struck me immediately for several reasons. Firstly, you're an embodiment of what I envision as the modern woman, so it's refreshing to read what a fellow "go-getter" gal has to say about this societal pressure. Also, this is THE issue that I realized I would need to deal with - the moment I started college, and I imagine for the rest of my life. In fact, it's this exact issue that I addressed in my personal statement for my law school applications. It can't be more than 2pp and has to be representative of myself and my desire to be a lawyer, so clearly it's limited in scope, but it essentially echoes what you wrote. My essay attempts to answer - or at least it constitutes my personal answer and preference in handling these times of changing norms.<br /><br />I attached my essay in an email in case you're interested. :)<br /><br />I edited it a million times, and at the advice of many, I reluctantly removed my original opening:<br /><br />"There's a statistic - or maybe it's just a rumor - that says that the majority of women leave Duke less confident than when they arrived. Encouraging, right?"<br /><br />Needless to say, I definitely didn't hear this in any Duke info session. It's haunted me and many other girls here these past 4 years. As a freshman, I thought this "stat" (which is actually real, according to the Women's Studies Dept) was ridiculous. I thought there was no way I'd leave less confident - and I was wrong...for about 2 years. (continued)Classics Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05101951573798122635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3356365463389515942.post-16334553761907218582011-11-28T12:11:26.364-08:002011-11-28T12:11:26.364-08:00This just popped up on my facebook. Wow, I love it...This just popped up on my facebook. Wow, I love it! I agree 100%Teresa Magallonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00474750444650293468noreply@blogger.com