2012: The Time is Now, Your Legacy is Forever

Happy 2012 Friends!

It's a new year! January 1st marks a clean slate, a time for people to re-evaluate their lives and make improvements in their life that will hopefully lead to a prosperous future. 

When discussing New Year's Resolutions with friends or family, I always hear, "I am giving up alcohol" or "I'm going to give up fast food and "I am going to stop using curse words." While, those are all commendable goals, I feel like we tend to focus on giving something up or eliminating something bad from our lives that will be for our sole benefit.

I am a big believer in Karma and receiving back the same energy you put out into the world. So, it occurred to me that it might be a good idea to add something to my life this new year that allows me to connect more with others, which will in turn, actually enrich my life a lot more than just having "me" focused goals. It could be something as small as making an effort to text or call a friend/family member you haven't talked to in a while once a week to big as signing up for a mission trip, they are both significant. Whatever it is, the positive energy you emit when you are generous to a family member, thoughtful with a friend, or philanthropic in your activities will come back to you ten fold. I find this to be a much more rewarding new year's resolution, there are so many benefits! By these small actions, you can enrich your life by developing new friendships, learning from a priceless mentor, build more quality business contacts, and increase your network of love and positivity. 

Here are 6 easy examples of ways you can add to your personal and professional life that will improve your karma:

1. Download Bloom app on your smart phone. It allows you to set reminders with images and music and then schedule them to pop up on your phone throughout the week. For instance, one of my reminders is: "Text or call a friend I haven't talked to in a while." It's beautiful what happens when you remember people who are important to you, you will likely start hearing from them a lot more!

2. Acts of kindness. If you see someone's favorite candy at a store, and you are about to see them, pick it up and surprise them! This small gesture will mean so much and let that friend know they are meaningful.

3. Make a little sacrifice. If your brother or sister is about to go eat and they ask you to accompany them, even if you already ate...go anyway and just order a drink. It's about the companionship.

4. Interact with your followers on your social media accounts. Don't just put information out there and let people comment without responding to them. Show your appreciation and try to reply to each person who writes you. People will be more likely to re-tweet you and support your endeavors when you have made them feel important.

5. Support a charity. There are so many charities and non-profits in your communities. Be the change you want to see in the world and get involved. Volunteering just once a month is great! You can volunteer at a soup kitchen; tutor kids who are under-privileged; join a non profit organization and serve on a committee; or if you love entertaining, you can host your own fund raising dinner party at your home for a charity you love! These websites, www.charities.org and www.charitywatch.org are helpful in choosing one you like!

6. Are there people who have helped you get where you are now? Well, of course there are. Maybe you have lost touch with someone who sponsored you with your entry fee in the Miss ____ pageant or who made signs to cheer you on. Make a point to send those special people an email every now and then to let them know who haven't forgotten the sacrifice they made for you. Say, thank you. 

Keep yourself in check and remind yourself of not only the goals you want to obtain, but of the person you want to be on the inside. People talk about a year of prosperity and abundance, the way to do that is to send goodness in the world in order to receive it in return. Be giving, thoughtful, remain humble and go out and make your mark in the world. The time is now, your legacy is forever. How will they remember you?

The Good Friend Guide

Hello wonderful friends!! 

As promised, I have comprised a "Good Friend Guide" as a follow up to last week's blog on the importance of friendship. I have developed these points as a result of wisdom gained from my own experiences and the insight I have acquired via others' viewpoints and feedback over the years and recently.

              The Good Friend Guide: Basic Rules to Keep You in Check

*Stay Social*

-When you don't feel like going out and meeting up with your friends, do it anyway.

-It takes energy after a long work day and may break up your routine, but you will be happy you did afterwards, and your friends will too. 

-Being with your friends is mutually beneficial. When you make time for your pals, you build stronger relationships and your life becomes more enriched with a support system and people who love you.

-It is important for you not to seclude yourself from your friends because the more you do, the less motivated you will be to make an effort, and consequently, the more your friends will feel like you aren't invested...and the farther apart you will grow.

*Be Dependable*

- Stay true to your commitments. If you are a person who has a crazy schedule or you have a habit of canceling plans last minute,  don't commit until you know you can. Then you won't be breaking a promise and you are up front from the start. You really don't want to be seen as a flake. 

- If you do make a commitment, stick to it. 

*Be Honest* 

- Don't underestimate the intelligence of your friends, they know when your BSing them and when you're coming up with lame excuses.

- If you don't feel like following through with a plan to hang out, be honest about the reason. If they're your real friends, they should understand you and will appreciate your realness.

- Tell your friends the real reason because more than likely, they've figured it out anyways and no one likes to be lied to. Deceiving your friends will lose you points real quick.

- Being honest only strengthens your relationships. Being open and raw is scary sometimes, but it is the only way to form genuine friendships. 

- Get over your fear over being judged, people appreciate candidness and when you are open, they will feel more comfortable revealing their true selves as well. 

*Have Good Character*

- As hard as it may be sometimes, try really hard not to say something about a friend that you wouldn't say or haven't already said directly to them. Most likely, it will get back to them and nothing gets resolved by talking to someone else about it. Not to mention, do you want your friends talking about you behind your back?

*Be Self Sufficient*

- Friends are not your babysitters, they are your equals. This means in order to have a balanced friendship, it is important to be independent and take care of yourself. 

- Do not expect your friends to take care of you all the time. It becomes apparent and annoying quickly to everyone. 

- For instance; 1. Be able to drive yourself places and  give your friends a lift every now and then; 2. Plan ahead and be sure you have a bag that can carry your own belongings when you go out; and 3. Take the reigns occasionally and make the plans; make the reservations or look up the directions when you're lost in the car, don't just sit there texting, expecting someone else to figure it out. 

*Be Thoughtful*

- Although our lives can be really busy; our careers and money will not be at our funeral, our relationships will. Make time to check on your friends and show them you care. It takes 2 seconds to send a text! Celebrate their successes, support their endeavors and be a listening ear through tough times. 

- Seek to give and be the friend that you want to have in return. 

One of my favorite suggestions that I received for this guide was from, Miss Oregon USA 2009, Sylvie Tarpinian and it is as follows: 

"Seek to understand before seeking to be understood."

This phrase completely gives me a refreshing mindset. Instead of always focusing on what they can do for you or how your friends should improve in one way or another; focus your energies, instead, on what you can do for them and what is going on in their lives. It is amazing how the feeling of sadness is lifted when you ask a friend how they are truly doing and you engage in a conversation that is all about them. Life is so much more rewarding and meaningful when you are giving to others as opposed to always thinking of yourself. 

In summary, life is so much richer with true, meaningful friendships. But, they don't just come to you, they take energy and effort. However, the rewards you reap are greater than the seeds you sow. This holiday season and going in to the New Year, reflect on the kind of friend you have been and how you see your friendships blossoming in the future. Choose the friends with whom you invest your energy and love with care; be sure they are Team You and will only be a positive influence in your life. 

- "Our relatives are the family that we are born with, our friends are the family we choose."

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below! This is such a fun topic!

Until next time,

Kristen Dalton